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Blah.
It's a slooooowwww day here in BevWorld. Longassed afternoon with other people reading and me catching up online and doing a few desultory chores. I'm in a weird kinda mood. I think StE and A are coming up tomorrow, which, yay, but, 3 hours in a car for them, the only time in two weeks they have together. And A gets bored here fast, and has a hate-on for me for some reason. I think it's Mommy-related, but I don't know for sure. And I'm not pushing it, not trying to ingratiate myself. He'll come around when he's ready, but meanwhile it hurts a little, and also makes me miss M more, because I won him over, and he was tough. I don't know if I have the stuff to do the same thing with A, and really? Why should I? Well, because I really think we should be friends, at least. But he's all prickly with the womenfolk, and I do think it's not-alienate-Mommy, somehow, in his wee little going-on-five brain.
What I'd like to do today is play all my Miyazaki, at least the ones that have wonderful sky and cloud scenes: Totoro, Kiki, Spirited Away, Howl, copy them into one long sky and clouds dvd and set it to some nice image-evoking, low-emotion-demandy instrumental music. I've been looking for a way to the other side of the looking glass for the last little while. A door in the hedge to slip through, out of real life and the need to interact, cope, deal. Just a place to hide and recharge, with no demands and no expectations, for just a little while.
::looks at paragraph, above. Hmmmm.::
It's a slooooowwww day here in BevWorld. Longassed afternoon with other people reading and me catching up online and doing a few desultory chores. I'm in a weird kinda mood. I think StE and A are coming up tomorrow, which, yay, but, 3 hours in a car for them, the only time in two weeks they have together. And A gets bored here fast, and has a hate-on for me for some reason. I think it's Mommy-related, but I don't know for sure. And I'm not pushing it, not trying to ingratiate myself. He'll come around when he's ready, but meanwhile it hurts a little, and also makes me miss M more, because I won him over, and he was tough. I don't know if I have the stuff to do the same thing with A, and really? Why should I? Well, because I really think we should be friends, at least. But he's all prickly with the womenfolk, and I do think it's not-alienate-Mommy, somehow, in his wee little going-on-five brain.
What I'd like to do today is play all my Miyazaki, at least the ones that have wonderful sky and cloud scenes: Totoro, Kiki, Spirited Away, Howl, copy them into one long sky and clouds dvd and set it to some nice image-evoking, low-emotion-demandy instrumental music. I've been looking for a way to the other side of the looking glass for the last little while. A door in the hedge to slip through, out of real life and the need to interact, cope, deal. Just a place to hide and recharge, with no demands and no expectations, for just a little while.
::looks at paragraph, above. Hmmmm.::
From:
no subject
I don't think cookies work with this guy. He doesn't seem to be food motivated. He's very much guy-oriented, always has been. Even at 18 mos he much preferred H over me. Mommy's the only girl he really likes, so it's hard to really bond. He's always polite, just...distant. And that does hurt a little.
From:
no subject
Perhaps little Mr. Distant's defenses can be eventually infiltrated via familiarity and constancy. After all, he probably doesn't actually appreciate necessary stuff like air, which has always been there for him. He'd miss you if you disappeared.