(no subject)

[arliss]

Blah.

It's a slooooowwww day here in BevWorld. Longassed afternoon with other people reading and me catching up online and doing a few desultory chores. I'm in a weird kinda mood. I think StE and A are coming up tomorrow, which, yay, but, 3 hours in a car for them, the only time in two weeks they have together. And A gets bored here fast, and has a hate-on for me for some reason. I think it's Mommy-related, but I don't know for sure. And I'm not pushing it, not trying to ingratiate myself. He'll come around when he's ready, but meanwhile it hurts a little, and also makes me miss M more, because I won him over, and he was tough. I don't know if I have the stuff to do the same thing with A, and really? Why should I? Well, because I really think we should be friends, at least. But he's all prickly with the womenfolk, and I do think it's not-alienate-Mommy, somehow, in his wee little going-on-five brain.

What I'd like to do today is play all my Miyazaki, at least the ones that have wonderful sky and cloud scenes: Totoro, Kiki, Spirited Away, Howl, copy them into one long sky and clouds dvd and set it to some nice image-evoking, low-emotion-demandy instrumental music. I've been looking for a way to the other side of the looking glass for the last little while. A door in the hedge to slip through, out of real life and the need to interact, cope, deal. Just a place to hide and recharge, with no demands and no expectations, for just a little while.

::looks at paragraph, above. Hmmmm.::

Comments

[amaliedageek.livejournal.com]

You need editing software. Failing that, where are your headphones?

[fufaraw]

Nah. I'm too chicken to even load or try to use editing software, actually. I need to watch it done before I try it. But headphones! The very thing. I don't think we have headphones anymore, just the earbud things. But headphones are what I need, the big old white clunky ones with the soft rubber around the edges. Put them on and disappear....

Have you no advice for winning over balky preschoolers?

[amaliedageek.livejournal.com]

Be near his space but not in it, preferably sitting on the floor. I found that reading a children's book would get them curious -- why is a grown-up reading that? -- and if I smiled and went back to the book, with indications of enjoying myself, after a bit they would sit down and ask to be read to. Can't hurt.

[fufaraw]

That might work. He used to love being read to, and would bring his favorite book of the moment to have read. Lately though, he insists on having the tv on, the Cartoon Network, or he wants to put in A Bug's Life or the Toy Story movies, Spiderman, X-Men, just to have the familiar movie going all the time in the background. But he's not content with one, he wants to change them every five minutes or so.

I've sussed that the having-it-on-all the time is comfort and stability to him. There's familiar noise so he doesn't have to think, or get too close to anybody and deal, or focus on stuff that scares or intimidates him. And the change it every five minutes thing is probably having control over something and proving it as often as he needs to. And you know, short term, I'm okay with this (although the noise level rapidly gets on my own nerves. I can handle it for his peace of mind while he's here).

But I'm sure at least some component of it is just being a bratty rising-five, and I'd rather not enable that. But he was obviously so uncomfortable when I denied him tv-rights, and didn't want to come back to visit. I'd like this to be a haven for him, some place that hasn't changed, although everything else in his life as. Being absent of cartoons hasn't seemed haven-like to him, so background noise it is. At least until he's older and hopefully better able to deal with the absence.

But I will try the book stuff. I have a huge crate of books of the boys' and of mine from my childhood that I had intended to give to both the boys. Unfortunately, I can't get at it by myself, and none of the menfolk have responded to my pleas to help me retrieve it. I may hire people....

[fufaraw]

(That should be, "everything else in his life has."

[katerinabead.livejournal.com]

If you have "Howl's Moving Castle" at home, I yam SO JEALOUS. How I love those movies! Dave & I forced a copy of "Kiki" on his dad cause the hillsodes of her City by the water reminded us of our beloved San Francisco.

Luring young children into having friendly feelings, I dunno. I think you're right about how he's trying to please his mother somehow. Do cookies still work on little kids?

[fufaraw]

No, we don't have Howl at home. Yet. But I count it very solidly among "my" Miyazaki, and I have neither the software nor the expertise to edit as I was proposing, the whole thing was a pleasant daydream, so I just dreamed Howl ownership in there along with the rest. But we will have it as soon as it's available. Can one wear out a dvd from too much use? I may need a backup copy of Totoro. I love Kiki because it reminds me of the little German cities in Bavaria--all those red tile roofs and small shops.

I don't think cookies work with this guy. He doesn't seem to be food motivated. He's very much guy-oriented, always has been. Even at 18 mos he much preferred H over me. Mommy's the only girl he really likes, so it's hard to really bond. He's always polite, just...distant. And that does hurt a little.

[katerinabead.livejournal.com]

Saw "Pom Poko" Friday night. Have you seen that one? Not Miyazaki, but Studio Ghibli and purty darn cool too. Previews say "Howl" DVD is coming soon! Thought of you cause it was all about raccoons, who were cheerful party animals with shape-shifting abilities. I think the "Monster Parade" sequence is now one of my all-time favorites.

Perhaps little Mr. Distant's defenses can be eventually infiltrated via familiarity and constancy. After all, he probably doesn't actually appreciate necessary stuff like air, which has always been there for him. He'd miss you if you disappeared.