(no subject)

[arliss]

"NO! No, no no!"

The baton carved a savage downstroke, and the orchestra stumbled to a halt.

"Millicent!" he swung round on the first violin. "Play this line!"

She played, letting the last note vibrate away. "No! It does not say 'let the note die.' It calls for a caesura!" He rounded on the orchestra at large again. "Where did you all study, in some cave?"

Another musician laid bow against strings and drew slow, aching notes from the depths of the cello. And at the end of the line, for just the space of a breath, there was silence.

Comments

He said...

[sail-aweigh.livejournal.com]

nothing. I love this example of how to write without copping out. It definitley shows, not tells. He's demanding, scathing, dictatorial. And it's shown with the actions he performs between dialogue, not through the dialogue tagging of "he said", etc. I'd read anything you wrote.

[fufaraw]

Thank you! In arguments about why "said" is better--which it is IF one must attribute--no one is prepared to entertain the possibility of attributing dialogue by action or observation.

"Why?" She was motionless, reining in her reaction so tightly she looked as though she might fly apart.

"Because." He touched her shoulder, then sat next to her, close to her, and took her hand. "Some things we just can't control."

It's so simple. Until it gets acrobatic, and then I use "said." Hee!