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Ever since I frelled my right knee up beyond all reconstruction at age 18, my left knee (no, NOT my left foot) has taken the brunt of things. So imagine my horror and apprehension when about three or four months ago, it began to hurt like hell, to complain about climbing stairs, rising from a sitting position, getting out of a car, other things that make one, you know, mobile. I've had other things going wrong pretty regularly, I figured it's that whole entropy thing, nothing really but make the best of it. I tried resting more, elevating the leg, OTC pain meds, massage, heat. All helped to make it bearable, but nothing really improved it. And, truthfully, it was pissing me off because it made accomplishing everyday things nearly impossible. This was my good knee, here. How dare it let me down?
But then it's performed faithful service, more than its fair share over the years, so I could understand if it was packing in. But it scared me. A lot. Nobody likes to contemplate becoming less ambulatory, less able. It's been a long, draining period. And then today, I stepped in a hole. It was just a small depression in the asphalt of the parking lot. I didn't notice it because of the polararised sunglasses, but I realized while it was happening that it was the left leg, and had time to think, "Oh shit! I've buggered the knee--" and felt a sharp pain, and a slight residual ache. And I took another step and the knee said, "Okay. What next?" and I walked on to accomplish my errand without a limp or even a disguising hitch to my gait. And I got into the car without a twinge, and drove home, and got out of the car without having to stand for a minute and let the leg take the weight till it was ready to move. I got out, climbed the stairs, went inside. Put things away, sat down to catch up on phone messages, got up without a hesitation or a sudden sharp pain in the knee and went on about my afternoon tasks.
I know pain is debilitating and I know the last few months I've been absolutely drained. But suddenly, just since this afternoon, I'm filled with energy. I did a short workout--just stretching and a few reps with free weights, but I did it. And stripped and made beds and ran a mop over the floors and went up and down the stairs to check on Mom without using the bannisters like crutches. I stretched out on the couch to watch tv, and didn't have to squirm to find a comfortable position or prop the knee with pillows to make sitting bearable. And when I got up, I just...got up and walked away.
I don't know what happened those months ago to screw up the knee, but I am exceedingly grateful for whatever put the hole in my path. I feel like I've gotten my life back.
But then it's performed faithful service, more than its fair share over the years, so I could understand if it was packing in. But it scared me. A lot. Nobody likes to contemplate becoming less ambulatory, less able. It's been a long, draining period. And then today, I stepped in a hole. It was just a small depression in the asphalt of the parking lot. I didn't notice it because of the polararised sunglasses, but I realized while it was happening that it was the left leg, and had time to think, "Oh shit! I've buggered the knee--" and felt a sharp pain, and a slight residual ache. And I took another step and the knee said, "Okay. What next?" and I walked on to accomplish my errand without a limp or even a disguising hitch to my gait. And I got into the car without a twinge, and drove home, and got out of the car without having to stand for a minute and let the leg take the weight till it was ready to move. I got out, climbed the stairs, went inside. Put things away, sat down to catch up on phone messages, got up without a hesitation or a sudden sharp pain in the knee and went on about my afternoon tasks.
I know pain is debilitating and I know the last few months I've been absolutely drained. But suddenly, just since this afternoon, I'm filled with energy. I did a short workout--just stretching and a few reps with free weights, but I did it. And stripped and made beds and ran a mop over the floors and went up and down the stairs to check on Mom without using the bannisters like crutches. I stretched out on the couch to watch tv, and didn't have to squirm to find a comfortable position or prop the knee with pillows to make sitting bearable. And when I got up, I just...got up and walked away.
I don't know what happened those months ago to screw up the knee, but I am exceedingly grateful for whatever put the hole in my path. I feel like I've gotten my life back.
